A healthy self-esteem is key to a healthy sex life.
I want to share an analogy with you I read recently.
Each of our minds is like a garden where we have many different plants or thoughts.
Some of the plants in our garden we were given to us by a parents, a teacher, or a friend.
Others we planted deliberately.
Some of these plants really beautify our garden or nourish us.
Others don’t.
We have all varieties.
And then, creeping under the fence of our garden, the weeds of self-criticism appear.
They are deceptive little weeds that tell us they will be useful in our garden.
“We will keep your garden humble.”
“Everyone’s garden has some of us in them. Only the conceited gardeners keep us out and you don’t want to be one of those do you?”
So, instead of plucking those weeds instantly out of our garden we decide to nourish them and cultivate them.
They begin to take over our garden.
They choke out the plants that used to nourish us.
They make us feel bad for keeping the plants that don’t.
They criticize every plant we have in our garden and use it as proof that we are not good gardeners.
We believe them, so we spend our days trying to prove to those weeds that we are worthy gardeners.
We hate those weeds but we are too scared to get rid of them.
They have been a part of our garden for so long, maybe they are right about us.
Besides, it seems impossible to kill them.
But guess what?
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to get rid of those weeds.
And it’s completely possible.
They don’t even require weed killer.
Just stop nourishing them.
Tell those weeds that you are the gardener and you are choosing to let them die.
When a weed of self-criticism rears its ugly head, you remind yourself that you don’t feed those thoughts anymore.
Instead, start nourishing the bush of belief.
Belief that you are worthy just as you are, right now.
As you do, your self-esteem will increase.
Suddenly everything in your life will look different.
Even your sex life!
As a coach, I have the privilege of helping people get rid of those weeds of self-criticism and reclaim their garden.
If you feel like you could use help in overcoming the weeds of self-criticism please email me at jamelyn@jamelynstephan.com and we can set up a free consultation.