Mine to Give

Before you were married you couldn’t keep your hands off the man of your dreams.

Then you got married.

And a switch flipped.

Now you have days when you’d prefer if he would just keep his hands off of you.

Where did all that desire go?

You’re husband is confused, but not as confused as you are.

But you should know that this isn’t unusual.

Here is one reason it happens:

Before you were married, your sexuality was yours and yours alone.

Your beloved wanted it but could only access what you would allow him to have.

This was exciting for both of you.

Then came the wedding day.

And all of the nonsense the world had taught you kicked in.

Especially the story that a women’s sexuality was made to service a man’s sexual “needs”.

Your sexuality suddenly went from being yours to give, to his to have.

And there didn’t seem to be any legitimate reason not to let him have it.

Now you feel like you have to have sex; that you have no choice.

If you believe there is no choice, you won’t feel like you have any autonomy.

A decrease in your sexual autonomy will decrease your sexual desire.

So, you could view your sexuality as a gift you choose to share with your husband.

However, like any gift, if it is not given freely there will be an element of resentment.

Resentment will never create sexual desire.

Whereas, a gift given freely and willingly brings joy and satisfaction to the giver.

Those feelings are much better bedmates for creating the sexual desire you want.

If you need help creating the sexual desire you want, contact me at jamelyn@jamelynstephan.com  to schedule a free consultation.