Lights Out

Do you want the lights out when you are having sex?

Does the dark make it easier for you to engage sexually because your husband can’t see your flawed body?

Your saggy breasts.
Your soft stomach.
Your fat thighs.

It’s certainly not your idea of sexy.

You feel like there is so much wrong with your body.

It’s called body shame, and if you have it, you will want to hide your body.

But that’s a problem when it comes to sex.

Because, most likely, your husband thinks your body is fantastic and wants to see it while you are being intimate.

You compromise.

Clothes off, but lights out!

In the dark you can be slightly less inhibited without having to be seen.

But if you’re trying to hide you body while having sex, you are holding back, you’re not all in.

Mainly, you’re in your brain worrying about your husband seeing all of you.

It’s very difficult to access sexual arousal and desire when you are worried and trying to hide your body.

Hiding your body and thinking about all your flaws holds you back from experiencing the greatest amount of sexual desire and pleasure available to you.

So what’s to be done?

I’m not going to tell you to turn on the lights, although you can if you’d like.

Lights on isn’t the problem, and therefore, isn’t the solution.

The problem is what you believe about your body and how those beliefs keep you sexually disconnected and limited.

Mentally and physically.

So, the first step you can take is to answer this simple question.

How would sex change for you if you decided to believe that your body was amazing as it is?

Don’t roll your eyes – stay with me.

Think about the human body, in all it’s various shapes and sizes, and all it can do.

The human body is an amazing creation.

And it is wonderful to share your human body with someone you love and adore.

And it’s such a gift to experience your husbands body, too.

So, really picture what it would feel like to accept your body as amazing.

Picture what you would open up to sexually.

And then set your sights on that goal and start working towards it.

It may take baby steps and time.

You may have to start by saying, “I have a human body.”

But that’s much more truthful and kind than, “I hate my body.”

Every step you take towards acceptance will open you up to more sexual desire and pleasure.

Isn’t that worth the journey?

If you need help learning how to accept and love your body, contact me at to schedule a free consultation.