It’s Never Enough

“It doesn’t matter how often we have sex, it’s never enough for him!”

That statement reveals defeat and a little frustration as well.

Actually, a lot of frustration.

You believe that when you have had enough sex with your husband he will feel satisfied and happy, making him so much easier to be around.

He believes it too.

But your idea and his idea of what “enough sex” is doesn’t seem to match.

In fact, it seems to you that there is no such thing as “enough sex” for him.

So, in an attempt to satisfy him, get him off your back, or stop him from pouting, you agree to have sex with him, even when you don’t want to.

Even when it just makes you resent him more.

Better to deal with your own resentment than his nasty mood.

The trouble is, you believe your actions can control his feelings.

You forget that how he feels is always a direct result of what he thinks, not of what you do.

And you’ve seen the proof.

He is still mad/bothered/pouty/sad, even though you had sex with him last night!

It is very frustrating spending your energy on the impossible task of trying to manipulate his emotions.

Especially if you do it at the expense of your own feelings.

So, if you can’t control how he feels, what’s to be done?

Focus on what you can control.

You can control how you show up in your marriage.

You do that by focusing on your own thoughts, not his.

You do that by managing you own feelings, not his.

This allows you to access the best version of you.

 And that’s enough!