A few of my clients tell me their husband is positive that if they just LIKED sex more they would WANT sex more.
I ask them if they think that’s true.
They usually tell me that they already really like sex, they just don’t want it as often as their husband does.
This is super confusing to the husband, and sometimes it is super confusing to my client as well.
If you REALLY like something, don’t you want it all the time?
The trouble with this line of thinking is that my client starts to feel that she has to PROVE to her husband, and to herself, that she really likes sex.
She is certain that the best way to prove it is to do it more.
But trying to prove yourself in the bedroom is a libido killer and that makes it harder to want to do it at all.
The truth is, there are many things in life you REALLY like but don’t have to have every day to prove to others, or yourself, that you like them.
Liking something doesn’t mean you have to want it more often.
You just get to love it every time you do get it.
I’m not saying that liking sex more won’t increase your sexual desire – it may.
But, trying to prove that you like sex will never do it for you.