Do you find yourself thinking about sex a lot, but not in a good way?
“Will he expect sex tonight?” (Anxiety)
“I think that kiss just committed me to something I may not have the energy for later.” (Trapped)
“He’ll be so pouty if I say no.” (Resentful)
All this thinking about sex, but you don’t feel turned on.
That’s because you believe you are responsible for how your husband thinks or feels about sex and he believes the same thing.
The problem is, human’s aren’t good at managing each other’s thoughts and emotions, so even your best efforts will probably fail.
The most likely result will be that neither of you is really happy.
So, instead of spending your days thinking about how to manage his feelings about sex, why don’t you start focusing on how you want to feel about it.
Your feelings are only coming from the thoughts you are thinking.
And the great news is that you can choose what you want to think.
In a way that creates sexual desire?
Start brainstorming some thoughts that draw you towards desire.
For example, you could think, “I love how sex feels.” or “I’m good at sex.” or “Sex is really exciting.”
Hint: they will not have words like “I should” or “I have to” or “I must”.
Experiment with this a little until you find what works for you.
Then, when your brain starts to think about sex you can purposely direct it to one of your new thoughts.
You might surprise yourself with what you create when you focus on managing your thoughts and emotions instead of your husbands.
As a life coach I can help you learn how to manage your thoughts and emotions so you can create the life you really want. Contact me at jamelyn@jamelynstephan.com for a free consultation.