You don’t want to keep track of how often you are having sex…but you know he is.
It feels like a weapon he uses against you; his ammunition for getting more sex.
The only counter measure available is for you to keep track as well.
If you have the information, you know when an expectation will arise and therefore decrease the chance of a surprise attack.
You also know when you have a guilt-free “no” available to you.
Counting seems like such a great strategy for guaranteeing you get what you want (or don’t want) out of your sexual relationship.
In reality, keeping track of sex is more likely to ruin your sex life than improve it.
Often the “acceptable” number is arbitrary and subject to sudden change, depending on your husbands mood.
This creates feelings of helplessness.
You also have to keep a really accurate tally for it to be an effective defensive weapon.
This creates stress.
Helplessness and stress are not very sexy.
In fact, these feelings kill sexual desire and build resentment for your spouse, who you see as the enemy in the battle of sexual quotas.
So, what if you decide that your husband can count, he can keep track forever, but you are going to stop?
When you give up the defensive strategy of tallying up your sex there is no battle.
Then you can start using all that brain power to create the sexual relationship you really want.
The one where you have sex with your husband from a place of love and desire instead of a place of pressure and duty.